What Did You Put In Sunday's Collection Basket?

What you put in the collection basket says a lot about you and where you are at in your journey.

Some of us put in our 10% tithing without a second thought. Some of us put in the few “extra” dollars we may have.Some of us struggle with the need to “give” to the already “rich” church and so put in very little.

I remember once when one of my sons was quite young and had—unbeknownst to me—picked up all his change from his room and put it in the collection basket as it passed. I think it was about 19 cents.

But very few of us realize that when that basket passes, it is an incredible opportunity to give anything and everything to God. Sure, it is about money and tithing; but money is only the beginning. That collection basket is a chance to empty yourself so that your gifts may be joined to those of Christ’s at the altar and used for God’s kingdom. They will be joined in the consecration and if offered with no strings attached can be appropriately dispensed by God, who sees all.


Remember that Mass transcends time and space and you are joining all the Masses said, at all moments in time, and that your gifts become priceless in the ways they can be given to others if you so freely give them yourself.


The next time the collection basket passes, along with your spare change or your envelope, make a point to put in your joy. God will use it to bless someone else who may need a bit of joy.


The next time the collection basket passes, along with your spare change or your envelope, make a point to put in your praise and awe of the mighty God we serve. God will use it to bless someone who may be struggling with their faith and in need of your beautiful gift of praise and awe.


The next time the collection basket passes, along with your spare change or your envelope, make a point to put in your sorrow, grief or despair. God will divide up those burdens among your fellow worshippers—across time and space—who are asking with a heart full of love to lighten someone else’s burden. Trust that someone’s heart is open to your needs and your load will be lightened or you will be given courage and strength to carry it. In other words, there is no way you can put your sorrow or your grief or your despair into the basket and have it taken to the altar and it not be changed!


We simply don’t know the ways our offerings may be used; but we can be assured that they will be used in anointed ways. The point is to give everything over at that moment in Mass and trust in God.


Does God need this from us? Of course not!


Does God desire this from us? Of course He does! Just as He freely gave His Son, we, too, can give freely of ourselves gifts that can be blessed at the altar; gifts that can be joined at the foot of the Cross and used in blessed, anointed or even redemptive ways (reflect on redemptive suffering, for instance).


Consider some of the words and phrases said at Mass during the consecration and see your gifts collected in the baskets now placed at the altar being transformed with these words:


Through him we ask you to accept and bless these gifts we offer you in sacrifice…


Father, accept this offering from your whole family…


Bless and approve our offering: make it acceptable to you…


Look with favor on these offerings and accept them as once you accepted the gifts of your servant Abel…


Almighty God, we pray that your angel may take this sacrifice to your altar in heaven…


Let your spirit come upon these gifts to make them holy…


There is so much that we can freely give to God and an ideal time to do this is during Mass—when that collection basket gets handed to each of us. We can fill it with love and kindness and hope and pain and regret. We can ask our guardian angels to accompany it to the altar. We can allow ourselves to be transformed by what we can give at the altar as much as we can be transformed by what we take from the altar. God allows us, in so many ways, to participate in His goodness. Filling the collection basket to the brim is just one incredible way in which we work with God for His kingdom!


So the next time the basket makes its way to you, remember: Nothing is too big or too small to be taken to the altar—it only needs to be given wholly so that it can become holy.

Do You Suffer from Lot's Wife Syndrome?

When I get invited to speak at women’s events, by far the most popular topic is my “Embracing the Matriarch Within” presentation. This is due, in no small part, to the fact that the topic literally animates me while I speak. In fact, if someone were to tie my hands together and mark an “X” where I was expected to stand, I believe I would become mute.


Yes, I’m a spectacle when I speak – very much like I was when I taught in parochial middle school. I was a veritable jumping bean of enthusiasm for our faith, much to the chagrin of my students.

Fortunately for me, adult women are far more tolerant of my delivery methods than were my students.

No doubt they feel and see that I love talking about Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah and are quick to understand that what excites me will soon excite each of them.

What I have come to realize is that women tend to completely underestimate the great honor that we each have as matriarchs in our own families.

I’ve also come to see, with great interest, is that one of the women who speaks volumes to women is Lot’s wife.

I know this because of all the comments I receive after the presentation.

“Wow, I never thought about Lot’s wife that way.”

“Gee, Lot’s wife taught me a lot today.”

“I will never look at Lot’s wife the same way again.”

Lot’s wife? You are probably asking yourself about now. Wasn’t she the gal who turned into a pillar of salt? Oh yeah, her life’s message is about obedience. She teaches us to listen and obey. And the excitement about her is because . . . .

And I’ll give you that you’d be half right if this is how you respond to hearing about Lot’s wife and the lesson that we are able to learn from her life.

But when I present my topics on the Matriarchs, I purposely include a number of other women – like Lot’s wife – who, upon closer examination have a deeper message for women today. Women who are not, by strict Jewish standards, considered “Matriarchs” but who, by the very essence of how they lived and what we can cull from their lives, deserve the title in a more esoteric way.

For instance, when I specifically speak about Lot’s wife, I share my belief that while the obvious message is one of obedience, the subtler message is one of “letting go.”

But let’s face it; women tend to struggle with the reality of living either message whether it is one of obedience or one of letting go. I’m not intentionally discriminating against men here. I’m just sharing my direct, personal experiences with women as friends, sisters-in-the-Lord, colleagues, and those I speak with at conferences.

Given our fallen nature, obedience is something we strive daily to attain but more than likely isn’t something we continually succeed at; likewise, letting go of past pains, hurts, and wrong-doings is not quite a woman’s strong suit either.

Women, I have come to see, suffer from what I now like to call “Lot’s Wife Syndrome.”

And I will freely admit to Lot’s Wife Syndrome being a chronic disease in my life, as well. This is probably why I have become so adept at recognizing it.

Every woman I know who is struggling with letting go of something from the past does so because her own heart has been pierced but also because it is in her nature to “hang on” and “persevere” – even with all her baggage in tow. (Here’s where you see me hauling my imaginary baggage across the stage and why I can’t be committed to speaking without hand gestures or being confined to a particular spot.)

Don’t get me wrong about these traits because they are the exact same traits – hanging on and persevering – that make each and every woman an excellent Matriarch candidate. The Matriarchs proper (Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah) remind us that we are able to be strong in the most difficult of circumstances and that we have an inherent ability to hold our families together through sheer will, want, and prayer. We learn from the Matriarchs how to rely on God’s grace and mercy. They set the groundwork for us to understand that Mary’s fiat is to our earthly lives what Christ’s death and resurrection is to our eternal life.

But life is about balance and so women need to learn how to balance their ability to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders with the need to let go of some of it – especially if they carry it to their own peril.

Lot’s wife didn’t want to let go of her ____; that blank can be filled in many different ways:

Lot’s wife didn’t want to let go of her life as she knew it.

Lot’s wife didn’t want to let go of her pain.

Lot’s wife didn’t want to let go of her hopes and dreams.

Lot’s wife didn’t want to let go of her sorrows as they had become her best friends.

And in not letting go, Lot’s wife paid the ultimate price – her life.

Now change the subject of the sentence to suit your own life:


_______ did want to let go of her life as she knew it.

_______ did want to let go of her pain.

_______ did want to let go of her hopes and dreams.

_______ did want to let go of her sorrows as they had become her best friends.

Maybe Lot’s wife was going to have one last look and then planned on throwing herself a pity party. Who knows? But I dare say we’ve all been there, done that. Knowing that it is in our own best interest to let go, leave the past behind, we still manage to make use of pains, hurts, sorrows or broken dreams in one way or another.

Did you know that heart disease is the number one cause of death for American women? This is according to the American Heart Association.

I offer that sidebar of information because it seems to make the lessons of Lot’s wife all the more pertinent for women today. “Letting go” allows our bodies a modicum of stress-relief and frees us to laugh and enjoy more of life. Laughter produces the endorphins and neurotransmitters that reduce stress – often a contributing factor to heart disease. And while I am no doctor, I know that the heavier the load we drag behind us, the more burden it places on our minds, bodies and especially our hearts – emotionally and physically – and thus is best left behind. (Imagine me dragging my baggage ever more slowly across the stage, now stooped by its burdensome weight and size.)

All this isn’t to say that we ought to let go of things without having first let them serve their purpose in our lives. After all, it is often the things that wound us most that also allow us to build virtues such as compassion, kindness, forgiveness and fortitude. But there is a fine line between the building of virtuous characteristics and sending invitations to a full-blown pity party.

We aren’t meant to become martyrs in our own eyes but should be witnessing to the facets of a faith that will draw others in. That involves experiencing pain and sorrow, regret and dashed dreams, as well as what we do with those experiences. Here’s where Lot’s wife becomes a blatant reminder: Do Not Look Back!

This also isn’t to suggest that certain damages, neglects, or abuses from one’s past should be taken lightly or will be forgotten just through sheer, brute will. And in some cases it is clear that professional counseling or services is a necessary part of “letting go.”

But for most of us, letting go is simply a daily “giving over” to Christ. It is that moment in the morning when our thoughts and words turn to Jesus and we share our trust in Him and how He will guide our day, ever at our side.

Summer Reading

There’s so much we can do to make sure our kids learn to love to read, or continue their love of reading. Summer is a great time to get engaging, entertaining books into the hands of our kids and with that in mind I’ve identified a few books well worth having that you may not know about; but should. The middle and high school books are ideal to add to school summer reading lists as well!


Younger Kids:

The Weight of the Mass by Josephine Nobisso is one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever held; it is the story about a penniless woman, a baker, and a banquet and is a treasure that both child and parent will enjoy.

Take it to the Queen by Josephine Nobisso is also a treat that readers of all ages will enjoy.

Tweens:

Olivia and the Little Way by Nancy Carabio Belanger is bound to be a classic with the great story-telling skills of Belanger shining through on every page; it has received a Catholic Press Award.

Olivia’s Gift by Nancy Carabio Belanger is the excellent sequel to Olivia and the Little Way.

Dear God, I don’t get it! by Patti Maguire Armstrong is a riotous look at what happens when siblings each pray for something different.

Hiding the Stranger: The Trilogy by Joan L. Kelly has great intrigue, mystery, and fun locals; it has received the Catholic Writer’s Guild Seal of Approval.

Teens:

Stories of Daring Teen Saints by Colleen Swaim is the sort of non-fiction book that has something for every teen reader and has the potential to set teen hearts ablaze with a love of Faith.

The Story of Peace by Miriam Ezeh has got it all: chaste love, right relationships, war and vengeance; great for high school readers and excellent for readers of inspirational fiction.

The Tripods Attack by John McNichol is a wonderfully crafted tale very well suited for high school years and beyond.

Older Readers:

God Calling, please pick up! is a non-fiction devotional by Patty Ward that you want to read like a book because each entry leaves you laughing or crying and wanting more.

Prayer in the Digital Age by Matt Swaim was significant to my Lenten experience and is a non-fiction book that every adult should read.

The Rosary Workout by Peggy Bowes is a great book to begin reading this summer for those committed to making use of the great weather and wanting to get in shape both physically and spiritually.

The Invisible World by Anthony DeStefano is a can’t-put-down non-fiction book.

Elizabeth: A Holy Land Pilgrimage is my foray into Catholic Chick-Lit as Elizabeth copes with a marriage on the brink and heads to the Holy Land to reconnect with her faith.

I can’t stress enough that some of the books listed here will do double duty for the dollars spent! For instance, Belanger’s books reminded me of Anne of Green Gables in the way I connected with the stories and I could easily recommend them to adults—even though they are written for kids. The same can be said of Maguire Armstrong’s Dear God, I don’t get it! and The Story of Peace by Miriam Ezeh. Books that have timeless, faith-filled messages in intriguing plots with real-life characters know no boundaries and the books in this list, while divided into simple categories, really are worth the investment.

Happy summer reading!

The Invisible World

How many unfinished books do you have lying around the house?

One, two, maybe even half a dozen?

I used to think it was just me, but then someone mentioned her stack of unfinished books and I realized that there were more people “out there” that suffered through the same dreadful, almost embarrassing, book-reading experience—or should I say non-book-reading experience.

A bit of my ADD and a bit of my disappointment in books that received great reviews but weren’t really “great,” mixes with the demands on my time and before you know it, another book bites the dust and ends up with a bookmark or sticky on page 37—clearly mocking my inability to stay focused through the disappointment or boredom and see it through to the bitter end.

I know, I know: diligence is a virtue and one I have truly tried to apply to my reading endeavors.
But there are authors whose works beat the odds and keep me interested, entertained, and/or enlightened to the very end. Those include the non-fiction works of Matt Swaim (The Eucharist and the Rosary; Prayer in the Digital Age) and Dr. Kevin Vost (Fit for Eternal Life; St. Albert the Great; Memorize the Faith); and the fiction works of Nancy Carabio Belanger (Olivia and the Little Way; Olivia’s Gift) and Miriam Ezeh (The Story of Peace).

To this list I now add Anthony DeStefano. I’m new to DeStefano’s work, but he is the author of such best-selling books as A Travel Guide to Heaven and Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To. I’ve just completed The Invisible World and was truly sorry to enter the last chapter and know that the end of the book was approaching.

DeStefano tackles the issue of the “invisible world” in a convincing and passionate way. For die-hard Catholics, there may be a bit of a soft-sell on such topics as the Sacrament of Reconciliation or the Eucharist—yet he compensates by hitting a home run with such topics as grace and the very real existence of evil and hell and demons. It is clear that this book is written for a wider audience than just Catholic Christians and I applaud DeStefano’s ability to write to that wider audience while still appeasing those of us who want our books to be “Catholic” enough to honor and respect our teachings and traditions. He does this while also drawing in other Christians as well as, quite adroitly, non-believers.

I’m impressed.

The Invisible World begins with a chapter titled “The Haunt Detective” and immediately references Father Frank Pavone (a Catholic home run for those of us who know and love Father’s work at Priests for Life) but easily moves into the sort of stories we all love to hear: the four-year-old who was miraculously cured of a brain tumor. DeStefano immediately delineates between a Judeo-Christian understanding of the invisible world and a new-age worldview, thus setting the stage for where he is going with the book.

In the next chapter, when the author explores the reason for God’s invisibility, you can comfortably agree why God needs to be invisible, even if it never occurred to you to question why that is the case.

Some of my unfinished books are books on angels. I want to know more about them and in DeStefano’s The Invisible World, I have finally read about them in a way that makes sense but also gives clarity, without going on and on with unnecessary or inane chatter. Kudos for the way that he explains angels and creates an understanding of the ways in which they help us and are accessible—and then moves on to the chapter on evil. This is followed by a masterful chapter on the soul which then leads to a chapter exploring the reality of invisible warfare. I found the author’s personal style and understanding of how to lead the reader from one point to the next to be very compelling. When he writes, “This is a real battle, with real casualties, being waged by real spiritual beings who really want to destroy us,” you sit up and take notice because he’s just explained what we have that is so valuable (our soul) and why the battle is being waged.
The chapter on invisible warfare is followed by a chapter on grace which is, well, grace-filled!

DeStefano weaves Bible stories and personal anecdotes throughout which give weight to what he has written. He references, and appropriately relies on, such great thinkers as Augustine and C.S. Lewis to make certain points.
When DeStefano explores the power of suffering, I was reminded of my own on-going cross and found a bit of peace that I had not previously experienced.

The book draws to a conclusion with chapters on destiny and seeing the invisible.

The Invisible World by Anthony DeStefano is a wonderful book which I highly recommend! It will not gather dust on your shelf; in fact I already have in mind three friends for whom I will be purchasing copies and giving with great fanfare as I love to share such gems as this with those I know and love.

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.


MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Finding Our Compassion for Others during this Lenten Season

A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife, saw the neighbor crying. Upon seeing this, the little child went into the old Gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When the child's mother asked what had been said to the neighbor, the little child replied, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Why I'm Giving Up Facebook for Lent

For several years I gave up chocolate for Lent; like my many parochial middle school students, the idea of going without chocolate candy for 40 days seemed like a fairly good way to “suffer” as I was called to contemplate Jesus’ suffering; it seemed to be a perfect way to give up something that I could sincerely offer up during my prayers and as I spent time in reflection.


That was until our pastor cautioned us about choosing to give up something we knew we ought to give up because it would “benefit” us; when, instead, what we should be doing is giving up something that would not be a “benefit” to us. Gee, I remember thinking, chocolate really has fallen into the “this is good for me to give up category” because I began to consider the “benefits” of losing a couple of pounds and being a bit healthier for the effort.

Now what? I wondered.

In the middle of all this I also tried some things from the It-isn’t-about-giving-up-as-much-as-it-is-about-making-changes category. That included the year where I committed to daily Rosary and the year that I wanted to make sure I said “one good and positive thing” each day to my family members.

None of these Lenten experiences stand out as ways that made the value of sacrifice something that is real, tangible and personal.

So each year, as Lent approaches, I seek to know more deeply what it is that I should be doing, or not doing, for Lent—for God. This year was no different; Ash Wednesday loomed on the calendar and I began asking, What will it be this year, Lord? Let me know, please, and I will obey.

At this point let me interject that I have been attending an Ignatian Spiritual Retreat which meets a couple of times a month and the fruit—the graces—from the exercises has been abundant, to say the least.

So off to a dinner party I go, with Ash Wednesday less than a week away, and my request to know what Lent sacrifice the Lord has in store for me being freshly made and asked of Him. I shouldn’t be surprised, then, that the first conversation I have upon entering our guest’s home is with a woman I greatly admire—a Facebook friend and a real-life friend—who says that she is giving up Facebook for Lent! My heart immediately responds with recognition that THIS is my answer.

Facebook, unlike chocolate, won’t be good for me to give up; it won’t benefit me one bit. Frankly, just the opposite is true—it may be detrimental to my business of publishing books and sharing news of author happenings and various events.

Indeed, this true sacrifice is made known to me in the last days of the contest in which one of our titles—Stories for the Homeschool Heart—is in the running for “Best Catholic Book of 2010!” If it wins, not being on Facebook and LinkedIn and writing articles means I can’t take advantage of the social network to use this win in a very significant promotional way. A win would be something that just begs for tons of Internet attention and fanfare.

And the good Lord is asking me to walk away.

That, I say to myself, is the ultimate sacrifice!

You see, I’ve easily worked 60 and 70 hour weeks for the past 4 or 5 years and am now seeing that it is paying off. But in the recesses of my heart, I know I am being called to leave the Internet Super Highway behind during Lent and spend that time with God—in reading His word, in Adoration, in Mass, in the Gospels by way of the Rosary. I have previously tried to tell myself that being a witness meant embracing this new social media and that I was doing His will; but I was only giving myself an excuse to stay connected to the Internet.

So with this contest, it became crystal clear to me what my sacrifice was to be this Lent; and I also know that is isn’t just about me removing myself from Facebook. I won’t be writing articles during Lent either; I’m removing myself from some key Internet activities so that my time with God becomes more abundant, and definitely more personal.

God is calling me and I can’t ignore Him.

What will this mean for Bezalel Books?

I have no idea; but I’m not worried. It all belongs to God anyhow.

Each of us can be replaced in a heartbeat on the Internet—no matter how popular and followed we may appear—but each of us is completely irreplaceable to God so that’s where I want to spend my Lenten time: in His care, in His arms, in His presence, in His word.